Mediocrity is deeply detested by most. Excellence however needs a standard of comparison, and cannot exist without it.
Id rather watch people run into the train, then insist on pushing them to find a place to sit.

The wonder that is my large self. Or mere excuses.

You move your hands like half thought-out sentences. So caught up in the grammer, forgetting to mean a thing.

'When I use a word,' Humpty Dumpty said, 'it means just what I choose it to mean-neither more nor less.'

'The question is,' said Alice, 'whether you can make words mean different things.'

'The question is,' said Humpty Dumpty 'which is to be master- thats all.'

This sentance is false.

I hope this bothers you, as much as it did to me.

I gave her my clouds to keep when I went on holiday. She let the bugs in. Now I have holes where I used to keep my sadness.

18 songs play in my head
Simultaneously like those waves you see
18 songs play in my head
And I can't tell even one from the other.

She doesn't like me. She doesn't make much effort to hide this, either. Constantly complaining of how I don't talk. I don't care to impress her. or please her one bit. And yet her disapproving glances bother me. I don't know if its the need to please her or the want for approval. Either way its a lowly feeling.

Honest relationships are difficult to maintain when there are constant attempts to please. Yet, all relationships are dependent on such attempts.

Irony is a beautiful world although it causes much pain.

Green be envy
Green be pride.
Green is the bald princess who rides.
(into the cold corner of my head)

With fear, unnamed.
With pain
I walk through the rain.
(to meet you and try and rhyme)

To push, by force,
For in the cold corner
I'm left with no place.
(intentionally left blank)

Rains stop
to let the clouds touch the road.
I walk through.
(the pain was not caused by the rains. Alas!)

No place in head
to feel the fear,
For the bald princess
called in the ants.

Ants. That the clouds threw.
Shaped similarly.
Into my head
(and its cold dark corner)

I can see no more
and lose my flow
in what I write
for the clouds form a haze
in the cold corner of the cave
(except where the ants have left holes)

'Had I the heaven's embroidered cloths,
I would lay it for you beneath your feet.
But I being poor have only my dreams;
Tread softly for you tread on my dreams.'

For although you may be a fool, I am the fool in love.

Every now and then I feel a deep sense of belonging in the body everyone else seems me in. A heightened feeling of detached pleasure as I watch the world pass by flows through. And I smile and sing and prance. And feel like Peter Pan.

The only way to get out of this was to look at it. Three times I tried. Three times I failed. Once is coincidence. Twice my be pushed. But, thrice is just fate.

My hands look unfamiliar. Places where they bend all look new. I seem to exist outside my body. I' not certain if I was let free or merely thrown out of where I thought I belonged.

As I stood on the footboard of the train, the lady next to me pushed peanuts into my hand and smiled, as she put one in her mouth. Nicest four seconds I've had in a very long time.

Lies. big and small.
Lies. short and tall.
All to please you
Or mislead you.
Lies. innocent all.

Lies. white and grey.
Lies. they're here to stay.
Lies that hold you
or control you.
Lies. needful all.

I found a cure for train-nausea. Sleep.

*Bulb shown over head*

The more people I show this to, the less I can complain about.

I sleep just to dream you
I hunt minds to free you
Mine, I now bind to you

To kill the space between.

Stories I make of dragons and slaves
and how we ran out of those cold dark caves.

For when u awake, your memory I shall replace.

The mirror reflects.
You saw.
Now, you will be seen.

Worm. Its a nice word with a vague sense of queasy freedom attached to it. By queasy freedom, I mean freeodm that moves in ways others don't.

I helped the beautiful girl pick some books up.
'May God bless you. May the devil kiss you.' I heard.

He has. He also left behind a blister.

So much for bitterness.

Excitement is not such a blessing after all.
An ancient Chinese curse: May you live in interesting times.

Those fingers of his can't touch me anymore;
The blister he left behind covers me up whole.

There are only two things he can do to me now: depress me or make me want to throw up. I prefer the latter of the two.

He came. He saw.
He plundered with a wrench.
Like holes in a mosquito net.
Harsh. Yet skillfull.

They call it the Asiatic Society. Massive Building. White, like the white you seem in advertisements. They also have Town Hall and Central Library written below it. I wonder what it really is.

All these people sit on the steps through the morning. Some of them read the paper. Others roll their tobacco. The rest just watch the vehicles go by. All from the steps. An hour passes by. Slowly people start getting up and walking away. Do any of them wonder why the other sits? Is it some secret club? None of them talk to each other. Its a beautiful sight. The whole city is moving at its fastest. And some people decide to sit and watch t. With peanuts by their side.

New place. long distances.
Sudden spurge of happiness today. I don't quite know how to respond to them. Fear of the jinx of the optimist.
I cater to my selfish side at home. It can be rather pleasing. People with better language skills might have called it self indulgence. I, however thought of that much later.

I miss her. greatly. My one stabilty that hasn't changed.

If you had a choice: either to sleep with the most beautiful man/woman to have ever existed, with the condition that no one can know about it; or to be seen on his/her arm down a big fancy road with the condition that you may never sleep with him/her which would you pick?

I finally got my closure. All in a dream.

Big City. Bright Lights. Fear creeps in.
People are strange when you're a stranger.
Lines stolen to fit in.

Fast lives. Like trains that refuse to stop.
To catch it, and to not fall off.
Deserate attempts to maintain rythm.